It’s the scariest time of the year! No, not Halloween… that’s just plain fun. We’re talking really scary, and that means Valentine’s Day and the surrounding month. It’s a time when single folks go on Tinder in search of true love… or whatever passes for love these days.

Whatever your choice, you’re gonna be needing some new stuff to play with, either to impress your date, or just for your own satisfaction on a lonely night. So here’s a list of toys that will help elevate your mood during this Valentine’s season… and no, I don’t mean that kind, you perverts.

As always, click the name of each item to visit that vendor’s shop!

Bride of Valentine Pencil Sharpener

Into the eye and through the mouth! Of course, I’m talking about this sick pencil sharpener (what else did you think I meant?) from Mezco’s Living Dead Dolls collection that will perfectly adorn the desk of a horror fanatic like yourself.

Bride of Chucky Ultimate Chucky & Tiffany Two-Pack

Chucky got lucky… and maybe you will too, one day. In the meantime, enjoy these replicas of Hollywood’s hottest killer couple with plenty of switchable parts.

Bleeding Heart Wall Mirror

First impressions are everything, so win your date over with this one-of-a-kind, blood-dripping heart mirror that will surely turn up the vibe in your bedroom. It’s also great for summoning Bloody Mary, if you’re hoping for a terrifying threesome.. but your results may vary.

Custom Horror Water Pipe

Now, this is one hell of a bong, and the ultimate gift for a cannabis-loving horror enthusiast to have on hand. Great for whenever you and your partner are chillin’ it and killin’ it.

Black Cat Enamel Pin Board [Glows in the Dark!]

When it’s time for lights out, nothing will shine brighter than this glow-in-the-dark enamel pin board that lets you floss that bright and shiny pin collection night or day!

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