It seems as though each week of “American Horror Story” leaves us with just as many questions as the week before. This week is no different, however – we finally have some answers which was, admittedly, a nice change of pace.

** “American Horror Story: Roanoke” Spoilers Below**


Last week left us with many concerns about Lee, her daughter, the relationship between Matt and Shelby, and the overall fate of their new home and well-being. The spirits plaguing Matt and Shelby’s life have proven to be a force to be reckoned with both inside and outside their new home and show no signs of giving in any time soon.

Kathy Bates makes her triumphant entrance, sporting a cleaver and some delicious, delicious “meat” substance and we finally learn about the mysterious home’s last owners; two nurses who went on a furious murder spree and eventually met their untimely end. Spookiness ensues.

The poor, unfortunate home owners, along with Lee, try their best to reckon with the spirits at large and fail, leaving their lives in ruin and Lee’s daughter missing; gone without a trace thanks to the mysterious “Priscilla.”

Regardless, they stay in the house and decide to fight. Because they are dumb.

Enter this week’s episode.

Episode Three opens with Lee, Shelby, and Matt frantically searching the nearby woods, looking for any trace of Lee’s daughter, Flora. Things quickly go from worrisome to downright terrifying as they find a doll sporting a dismembered pig’s head and feet. Our three protagonists continue their search and eventually come to a pig farm where they come across two feral boys doing “things” with a pig and wailing the name of Lee’s missing daughter.

Oh, but wait – it gets weirder. I promise.

The police arrive and take the two feral boys to the station, hoping to get some information out of them; attempting to persuade them with chocolate. Because – they (the police) are also dumb. Lee, Shelby and Matt return home where they eventually get a phone call from the police; they’ve found a body.

Insert spooky, suspicious music here.

Shortly after, they receive a mysterious visitor in a psychic/medium named Cricket (played by the delightful Leslie Jordan) who got wind of Flora’s disappearance via a spirit and decides to make his way to the home from New Orleans (hello connection to Season 3’s “Coven”).

The trio allow Cricket to investigate their home and he quickly finds a bonnet belonging to the mysterious Priscilla. He lights a smattering of candles, pricks his finger, and holds a séance – calling out to whatever spirits may be dwelling inside the home. Almost immediately, he comes into contact with a woman who calls herself “The Butcher” (Kathy Bates) and states very plainly that it is her job (and her job only) to protect the colony from trespassers (like the one’s currently residing on her land). Cricket, being the only one that can see her, demands to know where Lee’s daughter is. It’s revealed that “The Butcher” had nothing to do with her disappearance. That was all Priscilla.

Spiritual chaos ensues. Candles are cleaved in half, windows are shattered, and Cricket – channeling the angry sprits residing in the home bellows (assumingly) the first word that came to his head, “Croatoan.” Cricket offers to help them find Lee’s daughter and overcome the evil that resides in the home for a small fee of 25 thousand dollars. Understandably, they ask him to leave. Because, for once, they aren’t dumb. On his way out – Cricket whispers something Lee, visibly upsetting her. It is here where we learn something very interesting about Lee’s past.

To avoid spoiling the entirety of the episode, we won’t reveal that here because – this – this is BIG.


The episode takes a nose dive into the utterly crazy from here and it would be unfair of us to completely ruin the stunning conclusion of this week’s “American Horror Story.”

A few things to whet your collective whistles before we go back to eagerly anticipating next week and theorizing about just what it ALL MEANS:

– Lady Gaga makes her triumphant return this week. She’s covered in filth and its’ glorious

– Kathy Bates is a badass. A terrifying badass with an early American brogue. It is also glorious.

– Cuba Gooding Jr. sports some amazing acting chops this week and we get to see more of him naked. So – plus? Plus.

– Many of the actions of the protagonists continue to be dumb and frustrating.

– “American Horror Story: Roanoke” continues to raise more questions than it answers and – boy is it frustrating.

With that, we’re forced to nestle into our beds with our heads swirling about the events we just bore witness to. If you’ve yet to catch up to this week’s insanity – we promise you will soon find yourself in the lonely life raft of confusion we’re all currently aimlessly floating on.


One thing is certain though, despite the confusion, despite the madness, despite the sheer insanity handed to us week after week we’ll continue to tune in week after week. Because if anything can be said about “American Horror Story” it’s that it’s addicting and – well – we love it.

We’ll be back next week with another (relatively) spoiler free recap of the latest episode of “American Horror Story: Roanoke.”

Until then – we’ll be trying to wrap our head around all the… stuff… that’s going on.

Yeah. Hm.

“American Horror Story” airs Wednesday at 10pm/9pm central.

Feel free to follow and insult Ian Donegan on Twitter @ianjdonegan where he’ll be reevaluating his life decisions.


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